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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) Review

August 23, 2014 by JD Hansel

I must say, I there’s a lot that I like about this movie. I don’t find the main characters very interesting or relatable, but the April O’Neil in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is instantly more likable than Megan Fox’s take on the character. Really, the animatronics are not perfect, but I still think they look good enough for the job, and are far cooler to look at than CGI turtles. Splinter looks really great, and I often felt like he was a living creature, partly due to the performance given by Kevin Clash. I think that having the guy who performsand voices Splinter being the same person helps make him seem especially real. So, if you’re looking for great characters, the movie is alright, but from a technical standpoint, it’s really awesome.

The fighting looks very real, and some scenes are genuinely scary because of the ninjas that the turtles face and what they do. There were many occasions in which I thought that the shots/cinematography looked fantastic, and the same goes for the musical score. I really admired the way the story was structured as well. Overall, this movie’s a little slow, but it’s good if you’re looking for the right things. There’s a reason why this is considered to be a classic! (But don’t show it to young children – that would be a mistake.)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) Review

August 17, 2014 by JD Hansel

If you’re trying to choose between seeing Guardians of the Galaxy and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there’s no question about it – see Guardians. TMNT is really boring, not because it lacks in action, but because it is so cliche. I couldn’t care about anything that happened because I had seen this plot before, I had seen villains just like these before, I had seen characters just like these before, and I had seen action scenes just like these before. What makes the film even more boring is the lead character, April O’Neil, who is played by Megan Fox. She’s essentially a version of Lois Lane with the personality of a Triscuit.

I don’t want to give Megan all the blame since I know that the writing and directing contributed a lot to the dullness of the character. The sad part is, I couldn’t really get into the other characters all that much either. The only turtle that I found somewhat relatable was Donatello, who did not have all that many lines. Will Arnett, who I remember being very funny as LEGO Batman, was supposed to be funny in this film, but he really doesn’t get many laughs. It actually took the movie about an hour to get me to laugh once, which is pretty sad, and what’s worse is that I was never concerned for any of the characters either.

There were some things about the movie that were actually pretty smart. For example, and this is where this review gets spoilery, April O’Neal sort of had the turtles as pets, which makes it more believable when she felt the need to really pursue the answers to her questions about the turtles. However, this makes it less believable that she just so happened to be the first person the turtles encounter (aside from the Foot Clan, which is also unrealistic since the Foot Clan is working with the creator of the turtles). This is one of those movies that did have some thought put into it, but the number of coincidences that take place and the amount of nonsense the audience is expected to endure nullifies nearly all of it. On the bright side, the animation looks nice, as are many of the shots in the film, but since the first shot in the movie is unnecessary shaky-cam, I wouldn’t call it a beautiful-looking film at all.

I want to give the movie some slack for being better than some fans expectations, and I know that Doug Walker’s review has many more good examples of things that were done well in the film. I suppose if you were a kid, you would enjoy the movie a lot, and to the movie’s credit, it is mostly appropriate for a kid to watch, especially in comparison to most other superhero movies. So, maybe take a kid to see it… maybe. But if you want a movie that will show your kid what a good action/comedy movie with talking reptiles looks like, show him Muppets Most Wanted instead.

Shaun of the Dead Review

August 17, 2014 by JD Hansel

I generally don’t like comedies that are filled with bloody violence, but after seeing the second movie in the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy, Hot Fuzz, I had to see the first, Shaun of the Dead. Don’t think the blood didn’t bother me – I covered my eyes an awful lot. However, the writing, directing, cinematography, acting, makeup, and effects, were all very good. Several shots in the movie impressed me, as well as the jokes and foreshadowing. Sadly, I am not familiar enough with the cliches in this genre to understand all the things that this film parodies, but the film is still pretty funny.

While I don’t think that this movie was quite as fun for me as Hot Fuzz, I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys zombies or dark comedies.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Review

August 6, 2014 by JD Hansel

This movie is focused and is satisfying. That’s really the best way to describe it. The story is pretty simple – the Ministry is taking over Hogwarts and is keeping the students from practicing defensive spells, so Harry and his friends decide to secretly teach their fellow students to defend themselves against the Dark Lord. Well, maybe it’s not really simple, but that’s about as simple as it gets in a Potter film. The point is, the focus is on the main characters and their friendship, as apposed to the third and fourth Potter films, which were focused on events, scaring the audience, and teenage drama. This film is certainly a step up.

There are many reasons why the film is probably best described as satisfying, and I must warn you that they include spoilers. First, it satisfies our need for information by showing us things like the past of Severus Snape. Second, it satisfies my need for a break between the dramatic and frightening scenes with comedic scenes. Third, it satisfies everyone’s need for the most annoying/despicable character in the film, Dolores Umbridge, getting captured by angry centaurs and arguably raped (look it up). Fourth, it satisfies my personal need for lots and lots of Hermione being Hermione. I think that this film was a return to the fun of the first two Potter films, perhaps because of it’s Rooney/Garland movie feel. (Oh, and the directing and cinematography and effects and stuff are good too.)

Hot Fuzz Review

August 5, 2014 by JD Hansel

I did not think that Hot Fuzz was my kind of comedy at all before I watched it, mostly because it seemed like just another one of those crude comedies that are filled with blood, extreme profanities, and anything else they could throw in to get the stupid college kids interested. While to some small degree that may be true of this film (mostly just the bloody humor) this film was a pleasantly intelligent surprise. This parody of action movies is the second installment of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy, and it is focused on an excellent police officer in London who is making the other officers look bad, so he is sent to do police work in a small village with no crime. The village seems completely peaceful at first, but Constable Angel starts to suspect that the seemingly-accidental recent deaths of certain residents are actually connected murders.

While the film has a bit more blood and gore than I generally like, it makes up for that with scenes like the Romeo and Juliet scene, which I think is one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen in a comedy from the time period in which this movie was made. It also is a very impressive action/mystery movie, with writing that carefully weaves together a brilliant plot that ties everything together, and makes every line of dialogue count. Lines that seem completely insignificant all come back in the end, and really, the audience is being set up the whole time. It’s really brilliantly written and performed very well. If you like British satires, or if you like action movies, you’ll probably find something about Hot Fuzz to enjoy.

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

August 2, 2014 by JD Hansel

UPDATE 2017-05-31: This is not the final review of this film. It has been amended with an “Upon Further Consideration” article. Click here to read the newer review.

I was not sure what I was going to think about this movie since it is pretty different from the other films in the Marvel cinematic universe, but Guardians of the Galaxy actually became my favorite film from the Marvel cinematic universe. It knows that it’s a little silly, and therefore does not seem to take itself too seriously, at least during most of the film. I think it could have kept itself more appropriate for children than it did, and it could have been more careful to avoid clichés, but overall it works. The characters are likable and are performed well, and the focus tends to be more on humor than on action, which is always my preference in films of this genre.

This movie clearly has something that the other movies in its universe lack – a unique style. It is colorful and fun, with an awesome soundtrack adding to the fun every few minutes. I mean, any movie that shows the title at the beginning over its main character dancing through a cave to “Come and Get Your Love” is a winner in my book. Also, bonus points for Nebula because Karen Gillan. My biggest complaints with the film are probably the fact that many scenes did feel like they could have been in any of the other Marvel movies – they just felt like generic superhero movie scenes, and the fact that the filters and EQ on Gillan’s voice were not consistent. Most people probably wouldn’t have noticed that last one though; I noticed it because I was listening for her to accidentally lose the American accent at some point, which I don’t think she ever really did. Impressive.