2000s Movie Reviews

Left Behind (2000) Review

May 4, 2015 by JD Hansel

Oh boy, here we go …

For the most part, you can just take Kevin McCreary’s review and insert it here. I would, however, like to address a few things myself, and I’ll start with the positives. First of all, there are actually some really nice shots in this film that are theatrical enough to be right up my alley. Second, the film takes its time before it starts shoving the Bible in our faces, allowing the story’s development to take center stage for a while. Third, it’s tough for a religious movie to say “this is the world you’re living in” without it feeling both preachy and unrealistic, so I think it may work in this movie’s (or perhaps this genre’s) favor to do something more in the vein of sci-fi/fantasy.

That being said, the movie is still pretty silly, rather preachy, a little unbelievable, and a bit too cliche. I always like the rule that events can be unrealistic, but the reactions of the human characters to these events must be realistic if we are to take the story at all seriously, and I don’t think this movie makes the human characters quite believable enough for the story to work. The movie begs to be riffed, as I did throughout. It doesn’t do the best job at holding my attention, so I actually paused the movie one day and abandoned it for a few weeks. My long break from the film was also due to the fact that I found it kind of depressing – several cars and planes crashing, people losing loved ones, and especially dogs lost without their owners are all ideas I’d rather not associate with a benevolent supreme being.

So, in the end, it’s not the worst movie I’ve seen, but it’s far from the best. Oh, and please, no more bookend voice-overs in religious movies ever again.

The Road to El Dorado Review

January 22, 2015 by JD Hansel

(MINOR SPOILERS)

Does anyone remember the DreamWorks 2-Ds and hand-drawns? Anyone? You may remember Prince of Egypt, but for the most part, people seem to only remember the CG movies, such as Shrek, Antz, and Madagascar. However, I think my favorite DreamWorks film is probably the one that I just saw for my first time a few days ago: The Road to El Dorado. I remembered seeing little bits and pieces as a kid, but I never actually watched it all the way through. Honestly though, I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much in my youth as I do now.

From a writing perspective, it is clearly a carefully built and structured film, that perfectly exemplifies the “correct” way to write a Hollywood narrative movie. This is exactly what I would expect from the people behind the screenwriting website Wordplayer.com, which I highly recommend to everyone who has an interest in film. The characters in the movie are strong, and the story is one that frequently connects to itself, if that makes sense. (I mean to say that elements that appear early in the film connect to events later in the film, and every scene is there for a purpose.) One of the writers did acknowledge that the middle of the film suffers from a bad studio decision to keep the protagonists “laying low” for a while, or in other words, actively doing absolutely nothing while waiting for their boat to be built. Still, the situation is handled in a way that makes it bearable. The screenplay seems to get a bit to edgy or dark for young children at times, so I do not recommend that the li’l ones are shown this film, but for an adult, it surprisingly adds to the fun.

That being said, even if the writing had been terrible, the music and animation are so wonderful that the film would arguably be good anyway. Once the protagonists enter the mysterious city of El Dorado, you can expect every scene to look gorgeous from that point on. The music is by Elton John and Tim Rice, so I don’t need to say anything else about that. While I personally did not relate with the characters very much (which is a pretty typical problem for me when I watch movies) I can still say that this is a very enjoyable film that made me gape with wonder multiple times, and it is sure to be a joy for anyone who loves a good animated flick.

Signs Review

October 12, 2014 by JD Hansel

(SPOILER ALERT)

It’s easy to criticize a filmmaker as infamous as M. Night Shyamalan and completely ignore his good decisions, but in Signs, one must acknowledge that there’s a lot of good aspects to this movie. The credits are visually appealing, the music is basically good, the characters and their development are fine, the suspense is well done, etc. From what I’ve seen though, Shyamalan seems like he doesn’t take things very seriously. The upside to that is that he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously, which makes working with him easier. The downside is that he doesn’t seem to take his films seriously either.

He ignores the obvious problem in the story completely, making it one of the most talked about plot holes in history: the aliens that must not touch water came to a planet that is mostly water. There are other story elements that do not make sense, such as how every television station decided to stop broadcasting their regular programming to show the same network’s coverage of a story that may have been a hoax. This is completely unbelievable, and while some may say that the unbelievable is acceptable in a science fiction story, when ordinary humans are portrayed reacting to events inappropriately, it really hurts the story. From a dialogue perspective, the writing is still not totally realistic in many parts of the film, but the children were written for rather well.

While the child actors are certainly very impressive, the movie offers little that is new or impressive from a story perspective, and does not stand out all that much as an alien invasion story. It is not terrible, and it has some redeeming qualities, but its flaws make it feel very “meh.”

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince Review

September 10, 2014 by JD Hansel

(SPOILERS)

I think a better name for this film would have been Harry Potter and the Half As Much Snogging As There Should Have Been, because frankly, it’s all about the characters and their relationships. The characters’ relationships are what have me anxiously watching the film and enjoying it. Harry and Ginny keep one glued to the screen, and Hermione and Ron even more so. The scene with Ron as he unconsciously mutters Hermione’s name is absolutely brilliant. I would have written something like that myself if I could have thought to do it that way. What makes that scene even more delightful is Snape standing there, presumably trying not to vomit. I think this film makes the main characters, especially Hermione, finally get the attention they should have had in the third and fourth films.

Oh, and there’s also a plot in this movie somewhere, but it’s not very strong. In the end, we learn that the task that Harry must complete in the climax of the film (if you can call it that) really doesn’t do much good. All of the efforts made by the characters in this film seem somehow futile, aside from giving them an idea of what they need to accomplish in the next film. It feels empty, and all of the focus on the Half-Blood Prince does not help. It might have meant something had it been revealed in the end that Snape was evil rather than at the beginning of the film, but because of the way this was set up, the big reveal does not feel very big at all. The Half-Blood Prince could have been just about anyone and it wouldn’t have made a difference: Lucius Malfoy, Hagrid, Dobby, Hedwig, or H. R. Pufnstuf.

The ending with the death of Dumbledore does emotionally impact the audience, and it is rather well done, but because this is pretty much the note we end on, the movie just doesn’t feel complete. It seems like this whole year was just setting up for the events of the year to come, which it kind of was, but a movie should not feel like it as one watches it. It’s like when I order an expensive meal at a restaurant, eat it all, and I’m surprised to find it was not filling at all and I’m still hungry. Still, even if making the movie was just an excuse to show the scene with unconscious Ron mumbling about Hermione, I’d be totally okay with that and I could forgive many other aspects of the film. Also, my rating of this film is right on the border between 3.5 stars and 4 stars, and this was a very, very difficult decision. Sadly, because its story is weak, I do not think it would be fair to give it the same rating as I gave movies 2 and 5.

Shaun of the Dead Review

August 17, 2014 by JD Hansel

I generally don’t like comedies that are filled with bloody violence, but after seeing the second movie in the Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy, Hot Fuzz, I had to see the first, Shaun of the Dead. Don’t think the blood didn’t bother me – I covered my eyes an awful lot. However, the writing, directing, cinematography, acting, makeup, and effects, were all very good. Several shots in the movie impressed me, as well as the jokes and foreshadowing. Sadly, I am not familiar enough with the cliches in this genre to understand all the things that this film parodies, but the film is still pretty funny.

While I don’t think that this movie was quite as fun for me as Hot Fuzz, I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys zombies or dark comedies.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Review

August 6, 2014 by JD Hansel

This movie is focused and is satisfying. That’s really the best way to describe it. The story is pretty simple – the Ministry is taking over Hogwarts and is keeping the students from practicing defensive spells, so Harry and his friends decide to secretly teach their fellow students to defend themselves against the Dark Lord. Well, maybe it’s not really simple, but that’s about as simple as it gets in a Potter film. The point is, the focus is on the main characters and their friendship, as apposed to the third and fourth Potter films, which were focused on events, scaring the audience, and teenage drama. This film is certainly a step up.

There are many reasons why the film is probably best described as satisfying, and I must warn you that they include spoilers. First, it satisfies our need for information by showing us things like the past of Severus Snape. Second, it satisfies my need for a break between the dramatic and frightening scenes with comedic scenes. Third, it satisfies everyone’s need for the most annoying/despicable character in the film, Dolores Umbridge, getting captured by angry centaurs and arguably raped (look it up). Fourth, it satisfies my personal need for lots and lots of Hermione being Hermione. I think that this film was a return to the fun of the first two Potter films, perhaps because of it’s Rooney/Garland movie feel. (Oh, and the directing and cinematography and effects and stuff are good too.)